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Some Women Choose to Follow Men

#mindfulleader Apr 01, 2021

“Some women choose to follow men, and some women choose to follow their dreams. If you're wondering which way to go, remember that your career will never wake up and tell you that it doesn't love you anymore.” Lady Gaga

Recognize your fears and do it anyway. 

You understand that having resistance is a way to stop you from achieving a breakthrough.  That resistance comes from fear, and therefore we need to approach it as just that, Fantasized Experiences Appearing Real. They are not real, therefore just do it. Another side of resistance is our ego, resistance to becoming vulnerable.  If you feel overwhelmed, anxious, or any negative emotions about doing something that you need to do, that is a way resistance manifest. Remember that anything that is coming to you as negative, is not real. 

Willingness to explore and welcome changes and opportunities. 

If there is something that never changes, is changed.  Therefore, we need to learn how to embrace change and be open to new possibilities. Changes are always good, even if at the moment we don't see it that way.   When we experience changes, we are challenged and challenges change us, mold us to be better. Also, when we make changes in our life, we welcome new things, new opportunities, that if we had not changed, things would not have changed around us.  

End blame and criticism by being accountable. 

As hard as this might be, accountability is critical in Mindful Leadership.  Recognizing your mistakes is imperative.  I know that for some people taking responsibility for their actions could mean a sign of weakness, but on the contrary, it is a sign of strength. They embrace accountability, without making excuses. Most of the time, when we point at someone else about mistakes, most likely is because we are avoiding our mistakes.  So make sure that before putting the blame on someone else, see what is it that you need to change in yourself. 

Be genuine and authentic.

It is as Dr. Seuss said. “There is no one alive who is Youer than you” So why compare or imitate others when you are so amazing in your way? In the podcast "Making Oprah," Oprah mentioned that even though she had a lot of people trying to do similar shows with their twists, she never tried to follow or imitate what they were doing. She might be in an arena where she could consider other people's shows as competitors, but as she said: "put your blinders on and keep doing your thing." So, just like horses, do your thing, don't try to imitate someone else.  Don't try to fit in, but stand out, and the only way to stand out is by being authentic, being yourself. 

Mindful leaders know their genius and their purpose.

There is a difference between being passionate about something and know your talent and your purpose.  You can be passionate about a lot of things, but when you know your purpose, there is a drive and motivation that nothing will get in the way to achieve it.  For example, I'm not sure how passionate I am about writing, but now that writing this book is part of my purpose in life, I know this book will not be the last. 

Have a clear vision and strategy to execute.

All conscious leaders know the importance of visualizing their goal and have the plan to implement it.  A vision is about experiencing the feeling or emotion as if you have already achieved that goal. And then from there, you strategize to execute a plan.   At the beginning of each quarter, I create the plan that allows getting closer to the goal I have established for that year.  Having a clear vision of where I want to be, allows me to reverse engineer the process to reach it. 

Know who is in front of you, and know how to talk to them.

When you know who is in front of you, you know how to speak to them in a way that can persuade them to do what you want them to do.  As a personality expert, I have learned how important it is to recognize how to ask for things, how to approach certain problems, and even how to love them.  Gary Chapman has the best explanation of love in his book 'The 5 Love Languages'.  We all want to be loved, and our approach to love is different.  Just like my husband and I, we never spoke each other's love languages, learning about this, can help us in any aspect of our lives.  If you have never read that book, I would recommend it to you as a great start for learning who is in front of you. Other personality tests are Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, The Winnie the Pooh Personality test, and my favorite is www.yourpersonalitydna.com

Eliminate procrastination, analysis paralysis, perfectionism and pessimism from your life.  

I speak about this to my audience and clients, and I call these the four enemies.  The reality is that we all struggle with one or all four of these enemies.   But Mindful Leaders are very aware of these weaknesses, and they thrive for excellence, and not perfection, and that help them to take action, not to try to be perfect, and eliminate self-criticism.

Mindful leaders see taking risks as opportunities

Conscious leaders challenge themselves and take themselves out of their comfort zone.  They don't see risks as a way of losing, but as opportunities, and if they fail, at least they know they tried.  I am sure that you know who's Nelson Mandela.  He started as an activist and due to this was sentenced to life in prison.  He spent 27 years in jail and got released in 1990 and became the President of South African in 1994 and also in that same year published an autobiography Long Walk to Freedom, which he started writing while he was in prison.  Do you think that something like this could have been possible?   But it happened, and it is history.  Mandela was someone that took many risks, and today he is considered a Mindful Leader.  

Willing to learn and make changes

Mindful leaders and avid readers are keen learners. This helps them to create lasting changes and being conscious of who they are. They reevaluate their life and understand that to break the ceiling of success; they have to change.   They become aware of their relationships and what's important to maintain the relationships in any area of their life. 

They are open-minded about learning, do not allow tradition or cultural barriers to stop them from influencing others in a positive way. 

Gratitude 

They appreciate things, even the smalls things in life.  They are grateful for what they have and have accomplished.  They are grateful for the people around them; they are grateful for being alive and the things the Universe brings to them.  

They focus on solutions, not the problems. 

If you have a problem, seek out the solution, focusing on the problem is not going to solve it.  Mindful leaders are aware of this, and they find a solution within themselves or ask others.  There is a solution to every problem. As the saying says 'no problem lasting a lifetime or a body that can endure it,' therefore, why focusing on them?  One thing that we can do is state the problem at loud in the form of a question, for example, How am I going to...?   Most likely, the answer will come to you.  

They know the difference between instant gratification and delayed gratification. 

Do you remember The Marshmallow Test by Walter Mischel? This is a test that successful entrepreneurs pass with flying colors. They know that whatever they sacrifice today, will allow them to enjoy at the biggest scale later. It is like exercising, but mentally. For example, if you want to have the desire results, you must sacrifice time, and push yourself, to see the results you want to have in the future.

They exercise regularly

The way you do one thing is how you do everything.  When you endure physically, you can withstand mentally as well.  Including regular exercising as part of your routine can help you to tolerate longer in your business, especially endurance training like swimming, cycling, and running, because they are challenging mental exercises as much as they are physical.  They challenge themselves to achieve more, not just to be comfortable.  Have you ever heard of Spartan Races?  I had the opportunity to listen live to an interview with Joe De Sena, the founder of Spartan races.  He challenges himself every day by carrying weights everywhere he goes.  Not only that, but he also speaks about delay gratification and The Marshmallow Test and how this has helped him to become a billion-dollar company.  How big do you want your business to be and how far are you willing to endure?  “Put one foot in front of the other, focus on the little goal right in front of you, and almost anything is possible.” ― Joe De Sena

They stand for their vision and the vision of others

They want to make a difference for themselves, and to others, they know that the most successful they are, the more they will be able to help others.  Even when others don't believe in themselves, they stand for that person's vision and show them that it is possible if they take action. 

They have rules, habits, and rituals. 

A lot of people think that having rules is not okay. But entrepreneurs make their rules and don’t steer from them.   That is why they rule the world too because they do what works for them. They stay focus and have deadlines.  Everything they do has a purpose; they don't leave it to fate.  They are planners, and this allows them to sleep better, as they have already written down what they need to achieve the next day. They don’t have to worry about what needs to be done.

They have coaches and mentors. 

We all need a coach or mentor to provide another perspective, to challenge us, and keep us accountable. Coaches are the catalyst between resistance and endurance.  As a mindful leader, I have seen how much I have improved by having a coach.  I know now that I couldn't have done it on my own.  I still need a coach to get me through times when I have self-doubt when I need a new perspective in life and business and even love.  We should all have coaches, and if you don't, consider getting one.  As a coach, I know that I could not coach if I don't have my coach.  What kind of message would I be putting out in the Universe and to my clients, if I don't have my coach? 

They are the creators, visionaries, and strategists and know how to delegate the rest. 

Successful entrepreneurs know their strengths as well as their weaknesses. The difference is that they don’t focus on their weaknesses. They delegate those. Why be frustrated with things that they don’t know? They are smart; they hire people better than them to do the job, moving the ceiling of success in their favor.

They enjoy and appreciate the achievement of others. 

We are not in an era of envy and retribution.  We are in the age of women empowering other women.  If you see another woman succeeding, be happy for her, she got it. She has put in the effort and proved that she could make it.  If you channel positive energy and visualize yourself having the same success, you will get it.  We all can be at the top, celebrate those achievements.  Offer opportunities to succeed, not only for you but everyone else that are willing to do the work.  

Great examples of conscious leadership that I am sure you know are; Oprah, Tony Robbins, Richard Branson, they are all examples of conscious leadership.

Oprah inspires people to act and make a difference in the world. Tony Robbins is a conscious leader and helps people to transform their lives. Richard Branson is a conscious leader as he acknowledges the importance to prioritize the need for his employees, creating loyalty within his companies.

But they didn’t start that way. Throughout the years they have experienced failures, or how I prefer to call it, lessons. These experiences have taken them to unlock their full potential. But each and all those experiences push them to dedicate themselves to personal growth and greater awareness.

How can we become conscious leaders? If you are still reading this chapter it means that you are ready, you want to learn about how to become a conscious leader. I am dividing these chapters into two sessions. The first part is, what are the characteristics of a conscious leader. And the second part is, what are the simple steps you can take to become a conscious leader in our daily lives.

So this is my message to you; no matter where you are right now, you can take your power back, and it is in your hands to become a mindful leader, and you can make an impact in the world.  You have to believe within yourself what is possible for you.  Please, do not compare yourself with other women, I can assure you that seldom people started at the top.  Comparing yourself will only beat you down, and it doesn't serve you anyway.  A lot of successful entrepreneurs started with nothing like I did, but it was their vision, their mindset, that helped them to achieve success. Follow your path, not the path of others, enjoy your journey. Be aware of how you feel about the success of other women. As women, we tend to compare ourselves with other successful women or we tried to imitate the business they are doing.  But being you is what will allow you to find success because believe it or not, you will find your audience, the people that feel identify with you, and they will follow you and buy from you too. 

Visualize your future life, believe it can happen to you and that you deserve it.  Your past doesn't define your future. Any negative emotion against yourself is not real, and it is your ego getting in your way. Anything that is happening to you reflects what you believe about yourself, so switch it. 

Start by doing the work that is rewarding to you, and make an impact in the world.  You can be passionate about a lot of things, but when you can make a difference in others, that becomes your purpose, that will give you profits, and will allow you to enjoy your passions now and along the line.  Think that everything you dream of and the image are possible for you.  If you don't believe it for yourself, contact me, and I will remind you.  I hope my story inspires you to act and become the Mindful Leader you were meant to be.  To Our Success.

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